New Journal

There’s nothing quite like a new journal to lift my spirits. On those blank lines, waiting to be filled, I see hope. I see new possibilities. I see adventures to be had, prayers to be written and answered, wisdom to be hashed out, and ideas to be birthed. And all of it fills me with excitement for the present and anticipation for the future.

It’s in our nature (or at least it’s in mine) to hope and dream and long for better things. There was a day (or two) where I was conflicted about this facet of my personality. I wondered, or in fact, I felt the Spirit questioning, “Can you just be content in the here and now? Can you be content if life never gets easier, if things don’t change?” My answer: yes… and no. On my own, I am never content, I’m continually storm-tossed, searching. But with Jesus I am finally satisfied. In the sweet embrace of my savior’s arms, with the gracious gifts He’s already given me, I am peaceful, happy, content.

I’ve realized that question, “can you be content?” does not rage against having hope and dreams. It doesn’t condemn our longing for better days. After all, God IS our hope. It’s Him who plants the seeds of dreams in our hearts and waters them to fruition. In fact, He is the one who asks us to pray, to long for a better world, one where His will is done on Earth just as it is in heaven.

And so I will hope, and I will dream, and I will long for Him, for His will to be done—in me, in my family, in my country, and in the world. Because His will is always beautiful, right and just. His will is always better than mine.

If my net worth remains stagnant, if the influence I have and the approval and praise I receive from others never increases—heck, even if it disappears—If He gives me nothing more than Himself, His love, grace and wisdom, If on the outside I appear to stay exactly the same, yet on the inside He transforms my heart into His own, then I will have obtained all that I can hope for, all that I can dream for, and the best that I could long for.

New Journal

This is the revelation I’ve needed for a long time, and one I will need from now until forever: It’s not that my Father does not want to give me every good thing —He does! But the BEST thing, the only thing that truly satisfies, the one thing He can give that matters the most, is Himself. And He can certainly give Himself without all the extra fluff. He can give Himself without the fame, without comfort, without finances, or success.

It’s my hope that I will want Him, not the rest. If He chooses to give me more, I’ll be thankful, but if He doesn’t, may He continue to work in me to love Him with all my heart, soul and strength.

So my dreamer-self will live on, filling these journal pages with words, coffee smudges, hopes and prayers. Only it’s Him that I hope for, Him that I dedicate these pages, this season, and this life to.

It won’t be perfect, it never is. That’s okay—He’ll always be perfect, and I have a feeling He’ll be faithful to remind me.